【www.shanpow.com--英语作文】
【一】:短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
① Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!
=================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
② The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
=================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
③ I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
=================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"
===================================================================
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
⑤ Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir." =================================================================
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
⑥ Why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but YOU'VE got one!"
====================================================================== 我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。
⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投资相同的结果
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."
====================================================================== 有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了
一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。” 猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机！” 因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞五分钟后，就坠落在邻近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周，其中一个猎人对另一个说：“你认为我们现在在哪儿？” 那个人瞧了一下，说：“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远！”
⑧ Chief is at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
====================================================================== 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。 “保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。 “我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
⑨ Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
====================================================================== 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
⑩ Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
====================================================================== 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
【二】:简单的英语笑话带翻译
Blonde's Appendicitis-金发美女的阑尾炎
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
一个金发美女的腹部侧面感到剧痛。医生检查之后告诉他：“你得了急性阑尾炎。（金发美女听成acute 以为是a cute，一个可爱的阑尾炎）”
金发美女说：“您真贴心，医生，但是我是来求医的。”
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus 小强尼-寻找耶稣
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."Mary answers, "He's in my heart."Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this."Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"一名主日学校的老师担心他的学生们有可能对耶稣感到困惑，于是他问他的学生们：“耶稣今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬举起他的手，说道：“他在天堂。”玛丽回答：“他在我心里。”小强尼用力挥了挥手，脱口而出：“他在我们浴室里！”大吃一惊的老师问小强尼他怎么知道这个。“这个嘛，”小强尼说：“每天早上，我父亲起床后，都会敲浴室的门喊着„基督-耶稣，你还在里面啊？‟”
Little Johnny... Know It All 小强尼什么都知道
Little Johnny asks his mother her age.She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"小强尼问他母亲的年龄是多少。她回答道：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是强尼问他母亲她的体重是多少。他的母亲再一次回答：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是这孩纸问：“为什么爸爸离开了你？”对于这个问题，这位母亲说：“你不应该问这个问题。”然后把他送回他自己的房间。在走的时候，强尼被他母亲的钱包绊倒。当他把钱包捡起来的时候，她的驾照掉了出来。强尼跑回母亲的房间说：“现在关于你的问题我都知道答案了。你36岁了，体重127磅，还有爸爸离开你的原因是因为你在sex上的考评是F！”（got an 'F' in sex，孩纸啊，你想歪了，那是“性别：女”啊……）
Little Johnny... Definite Definition 小强尼-肯定的定义
The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue.""That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."幼儿园老师说：“我们今天要做词汇题了。谁能在句子里运用“肯定”这个词？”玛丽举了手大声说：“我我我！”老师说：“你说吧，什么句子？”玛丽回答：“天空肯定是蓝蓝的。”“回答得不错，玛丽”老师点评道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的。”山姆举手说道：“草地肯定是绿色的。”老师说：“回答得不错，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小强尼举手问道：“屁会结成块儿吗？”老师说：“不会的，强尼，你为什么问这个问题？”小强尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在裤裆里了。”
经同意转载自：
【三】:自我介绍范文英文带翻译3篇
自我介绍的学问社交场合，自我介绍是相互结识、树立自我形象的重要手段及方法，本文是小编为大家整理的自我介绍范文英文带翻译，仅供参考。
自我介绍范文英文带翻译篇一：
My name is amiable, this year ten years old, Yang temple is in fourth grade four class, now after this summer vacation, will be in grade five.
I'm not tall, always sitting in the front row. At the same time I am not fat nor thin, has a black head of long hair, small curved eyebrows under have a pair of bright eyes.
I love to make NiHua, also recently in spring scenery! I also like watching books and computer graphics. Won the school first grade four groups of extracurricular knowledge contest third prize, third prize twice computer painting.
My weakness is watching TV, love to play computer, regardless of the job, just because of this, my mother often and I had a day.
My advantage is don't love with money.
I hate cats and dogs, because it is the children have a lot of fleas, bite my whole body is scars.
This is me, after I introduce to me some understanding!
我叫丁可亲，今年十岁，是杨庙小学四年级四班的同学，现在过了这个暑假，就要上五年级了。
我个子不高，总是坐在第一排。同时我不胖也不瘦，有一头乌黑的长头发，弯弯的眉毛下有一双明亮的小眼睛。
我特别喜欢制作泥画，最近还在作春景呢!我还喜欢看课外书和电脑绘画。曾获得学校第一届四年级组课外知识竞赛三等奖，电脑绘画三等奖两次。
我的缺点就是爱看电视，爱玩电脑，不顾作业，就因为这个，我妈妈经常和我吵翻了天。
我的优点就是不爱用零花钱。
我最讨厌猫狗，因为它扪身上有很多的跳蚤，咬地我全身都是疤。
这就是我，听完了我的介绍对我有些了解了吧!
自我介绍范文英文带翻译篇二：
Hello! I am a beloved, see flowers blossom, car see flat tire Doris, listen to me carefully, come on!
Name: YuXiRu Doris (English name)
11 the age:
Gender: naughty girl
Education: in elementary school for 4 years
Height: 150 m
Appearance: a bit like a foreigner
Hobbies: painting, music, travel, etc
Favorite color: blue symbol of bright, clean, and wisdom
Lonely, dark hate color: black symbol
Like flowers: cosmos -- will be happy foreverwww.shanpow.com_英语笑话带翻译简短的。
I don't like: flower bay - pride
Idol: people around (including yourself)
I don't like: people proud, selfish,
Like the game: QQ speed
Favorite song: countless
Favorite book: the window of small doug
Friend: meet girls
The world's most cold joke: a steamed stuffed bun walking too hungry, eat yourself.
Favorite animals: dogs
Hello!我是人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎的Doris，听我细细道来吧!
姓名：俞曦茹(英文名Doris)
年龄：11了
性别：调皮女孩
学历：在小学待了4年了
身高：150m
长相：有点像老外
爱好：画画、音乐、旅游等
喜欢的颜色：蓝色象征明亮、干净、智慧
讨厌的颜色：黑色象征寂寞、黑暗
喜欢的花：波斯菊——永远快乐
讨厌的花：月桂——骄傲
偶像：身边的人(包括自己)
讨厌的人：骄傲、自私、
喜欢的游戏：QQ飞车
喜欢的歌：数不胜数
喜欢的书：窗边的小豆豆
朋友：遇到都谈得来
世上最冷的笑话：一个包子走着走着太饿了，把自己吃掉了。
喜欢的动物：狗狗
自我介绍范文英文带翻译篇三：
Hi, I'm designation squadron Zhu Yilan, my hobby is very broad. I like reading, especially love to see "water margin", "three kingdoms", "journey to the west" such as name, also like to travel, because they can let me open horizon, enrich their knowledge, but also exercise my will.
I'm in class "masters of the job"! Every time the teacher the assignment, I always the first one, and the accuracy is high, so I can have time in the school seriously do a good job preview to review. I always believe that time is like a sponge to, only to learn to take the time won't be abandoned by time. Boys and girls, let's work together to do the master of time!
大家好，我是四一中队的朱艺澜，我的爱好很广泛。我喜欢阅读，特别爱看《水浒传》，《三国演义》，《西游记》等名着，还喜欢旅游，要因为它们都能让我开阔眼界，增长见识，而且还锻炼了我的意志。
在班中我可是“作业能手”呢!每次老师布置的作业，我总能第一个交上去，而且正确率也很高，所以在学校里我还能有时间认真做好预习复习工作。我始终相信时间像海绵一样是挤出来的，只有学会抓紧时间才不会被时间老人抛弃。同学们，让我们一起努力，来做时间的主人吧!
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【四】:简短英文句子带翻译 英文唯美爱情句子
只有向后看才能理解生活;但要生活得好,则必须向前看。下面小编为大家带来跟多英文唯美爱情带翻译的句子，欢迎阅读。
假如每次想起你我都会得到一朵鲜花，那么我将永远在花丛中徜徉。
1、A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
当后悔取代了梦想，一个人才算老了。
2、Don’t let a little dispute break up a great friendship.
不要让小小的争端损毁了一场伟大的友谊。
3、Johan Wolfgang Goethe: Man errs so long as he strives.
德国诗人、剧作家歌德：只要奋斗，人就会犯错。
4、Do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a special occasion.
不要将你的东西为了某一个特别的时刻而预留着，因为你生活的每一天都是那么特别。
5、It’s not easy to change friendship into love. But it’s even harder to turn love into friendship.
让友情变成爱情不是件容易的事，而让爱情变成友情却更困难。
6、Michael Jackson 《You Are Not Alone》: I can hear your prayers. Your burdens I will bear. But first I need your hand then forever can begin.
MJ的歌《你并不孤单》：我听到了你的祈愿，我愿肩承你的负担，但我需要先牵着你的手，才能告诉你什么是永远。
7、When I thought I couldn’t go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck.
当我以为我无法继续走下去时，我强迫自己要继续前进。我的成功是基于我的坚持，并非运气。
www.shanpow.com_英语笑话带翻译简短的。 8、The better to have loved and lost; Than never to have loved at all.
宁肯爱过而又失去，也不要做一个从未爱过的人。
9、Dreaming in the memory is not as good as waiting for the paradise in the hell.
在回忆里继续梦幻，不如在地狱里等待天堂。
10、If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
假如每次想起你我都会得到一朵鲜花，那么我将永远在花丛中徜徉。
11、In the world the most exhausting matter is that spending every day falsely.
世上最累人的事，莫过于虚伪的过日子。
12、True love is visible not to the eyes but to the heart.
真爱不靠眼睛看，要用心感受。
13、When it comes to family, we are all still children at heart. No matter how old we get,we always need a place to call home.
面对家人的时候，在我们内心深处我们始终觉得自己还是孩子。不管我们年龄多大了，我们还需要一个称之为家的地方。
14、Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
宁愿做事不完美，总比完美地不做事要好。
15、Actually it is just in an idea when feel oneself can achieve and cannot achieve.
觉得自己做得到和做不到，往往只在一念之间。
16、Franois Rabelais: A child is not a vase to filled but a fire to be lit.
法国作家拉伯雷：孩子不是一个需要你灌水的瓶子，而是一堆等着你点燃的火焰。
17、The greatest things are done by the aid of small ones.
最伟大的事情是在小事情的帮助下完成的。意即：一个篱笆三个桩，一个好汉三个帮。
18、Three important things in relationships: eyes that won’t cry, lips that won’t lie, and love that won’t die.
美满恋情的三个要点：不要让眼泪模糊了她的双眼;不要让谎言伤害他的心;不要让真爱之花猝然凋谢!
19、Dont ever let your enemies see you fall, all they want is to see you mess up, don’t give them the pleasure. Be strong, prove them wrong.
不要让你的敌人看到你一蹶不振，他们最想看到的是你自乱阵脚，不要让他们轻易得逞。振作起来，用行动证明，他们看走眼了。
20、Byron: I am never away from you. Even now, I shall not leave
