【www.shanpow.com--英语作文】
【一】:两人对话英语笑话
两人对话英语笑话
I want a nightmare
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
想做坏梦
在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。
Applied Psychology
After the student delivered the pizza to old Ken's house，Ken asked，"What is the usual tip?”
"Well，”replied the youth，"this is my first trip here，but the other blokes say if I get 5p out of you，I’II be doing great.” "Is that sot”snorted Ken. "Well，just to show them how wrong they are，here’s five quid.”
"Thanks,”replied the youth，“I'll put this towards to my studies.”
"What are you studying”asked Ken.The lad smiled and said，"Applied psychology.”
应用心理学
一个学生把比萨饼送到老肯恩家，肯恩问:“你一般要多少小费?”
年轻人答道:“我第一次到这边来，同事们说我要是能得到5便士就很不错了。”
“是吗?”肯恩哼了一声，“他们错了，给你5镑。”
“谢谢，”年轻人答道:“我会把这些用在我的研究上。”
“你学什么的?”肯恩问道。年轻人笑着说:“应用心理学。”
vi/vt.轻蔑(或愤怒)地哼;嘲讽地大笑;哼着鼻子说(或表示) n.喷鼻息;鼓鼻
It Wasn't One Person
The teacher is handing back the homework.
"Johnny, "she says. "Your homework is very poor. I really don’t see how one person can make so many mistakes.”
"It wasn't one person, Miss,”says Johnny.“My dad helped me” 不是一个人
老师正在把作业发还给学生。
“约翰尼，’她说，“你的作业做得太差了。我真搞不明白，一个人怎么能犯那么多错误?”
“老师，不是一个人，”约翰尼说，“作业是爸爸帮我做的。”
【二】:搞笑英语两人短对话
男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?
女:Sure.
男:What is your father’s name?
女:Happy!
男:Then, What is your mother’s name?
女:Smile!
男:Are you joking?
女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.
女:Go ahead.
男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a
band. Will you join us?
女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band
男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you
can play piano very well.
女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.
男:What are you good at?
女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.
男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?
女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.
男:Really? What does he like?
女:He prefers quiet music.www.shanpow.com_两个人的英语幽默。
男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he? 女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco . 男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.
女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music? 男:Why not?
女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?
男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to.
But we have one problem with our band
女:what is it?
男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.
女:Are you joking?
男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding. 女:Well, that makes sense?!
【三】:幽默的英语广告词广告语
导语：以下是学习啦小编为您整理英文广告词，希望您喜欢阅读：
Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃.
Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道.
Behind every successful man， there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man， there are two.
每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人，每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人。
Every man should marry. After all， happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛.
The wise never marry， And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系).
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好.
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外， 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.
“Your future depends on your dreams.” So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧.
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
“Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? ”
努力工作不会导致死亡!不过我不会用自己去证明.
“Work fascinates me.” I can look at it for hours! "
工作好有意思耶!尤其是看着别人工作.
God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
When two‘s company， three‘s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动，但并不妨碍你尽情地观看.
The more you learn， the more you know， The more you know， the more you forget. The more you forget， the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多;忘记的越多， 忘记的越多;知道的越少，为什么学来着?
【四】:英语版搞笑qq个性签名
以下是小编为您收集的英语搞笑QQ签名，一句好的个性签名如同一张精致的名片，值得你去细细斟酌。
搞笑的QQ英语英语签名
1.You're never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越“二”。活到老，二到老。
2.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
在这个世界上，我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你，但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。
3.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。
4.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining
上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧!
5.I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。
6.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt
剽悍的人生不需要解释。
7.It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end
8.跳楼的时候，“啊——”的时候还没死，“啪!”那才是死了。
9.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were
好客就是：让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。
10.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants。
直译：如果你始终脚踏实地，那就别想穿裤子了。
好笑的英语个性签名
Love, and caring, ruins you.
爱，和太在乎，会毁了你。
Nothing worth having comes easy.
值得拥有的东西永远来之不易。
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
人生不公平，但依然美好。
Originally，as long as separate the people，no matter how familiar with original，slowly also become alienated. 原来，只要分开了的人，无论原来多么熟悉，也会慢慢变得疏远……
I would rather be fat in a delicate way than be slim like everyone else.
宁可胖的精致，也不要瘦的雷同。
There is no key to happiness.The door is always open.
这世界上没有通往幸福之门的钥匙，因为那个门总是打开的。
The possibilities are endless when you work hard and never give up.
只要努力拼搏，永不放弃，就有无限的可能性。
We blame society, but we are society.
我们总在指责社会，而与此同时，我们就是这个社会。
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
当你睡不着的时候，你就知道你恋爱了。因为现实终于比梦境美妙了。
Letting go doesn't mean that you're a quitter. It doesn't mean that you lost. It just means that you realize in that moment that's it's time to let go and move on.
放手不代表放弃，不代表你输了。那只代表你知道在那一刻你该放手了，然后继续生活。
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。
世界总是在变，但我却怎么也便不出来。
人生何处不杯具，唯有面对饮水机。
Money is not everything There‘s Mastercard & Visa
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals They are so tasty
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
Every man should marry After all, happiness is not the only thing in life
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
Success is a relative term It brings so many relatives
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
Love is photogenic It needs darkness to develop
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
Children in backseats cause accidents Accidents in backseats cause childrenwww.shanpow.com_两个人的英语幽默。
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep
"现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk? "
"努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明。
"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作。
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends
神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence It protects the premises without restricting the view
服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So why bother to learn
学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着?
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
If you fail, don't forget to learn your lesson
如果你失败了，千万别忘了汲取教训。
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间
Live a noble and honest life Reviving past times in your old age will help you to enjoy your life again
过一种高尚而诚实的生活。当你年老时回想起过去，你就能再一次享受人生。
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world
对于世界而言，你是一个人;但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
Never judge people by their appearance
永远不要以貌取人。
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
Remember the best love is to love others unconditionally rather than make demands on them
记住：最好的爱存在于对别人的爱胜于对别人的索求之上。
Use your crystal goblets Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it
举起你的酒杯吧。不要吝啬洒上你最好的香水，你想用的时候就享用吧!
Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs
寻找更多的知识，多读一些书，坐在你家的前廊里，以赞美的眼光去享受眼前的风景，不要带上任何功利的想法。
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you
【五】:经典英文广告语集锦
导语：以下是学习啦小编为您整理英文广告词，希望您喜欢阅读：
经典英文广告语集锦
1、 Enjoy Coca-Cola.(Coca-Cola) 请喝可口可乐。经典英文广告语可口可乐)
2、 Generation Next.(Pepsi) 新的一代。经典英文广告语百事)
3、 The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection.(Lexus) 追求完美永无止境。经典英文广告语凌志汽车)
4、 Communication unlimited.(Motorola) 沟通无极限。经典英文广告语摩托罗拉)
5、 Feast your eyes.经典英文广告语Pond’s Cucumber Eye Treatment) 滋润心灵的窗户。经典英文广告语庞氏眼贴片)
6、 Focus on life.(Olympus) 瞄准生活。经典英文广告语奥林巴斯)
7、 Behind that healthy smile,there ’s a Crest kid.(Crest toothpaste) 健康笑容来自佳洁士。经典英文广告语佳洁士牙膏)
8、 Time is what you make of it.(Swatch) 天长地久。经典英文广告语斯沃奇手表)
9、 Make yourself heard.(Ericsson) 理解就是沟通。(爱立信)
10、 Engineered to move the human spirit.(Mercedes-Benz) 人类精神的动力。经典英文广告语梅塞德斯-奔驰)www.shanpow.com_两个人的英语幽默。
11、 Start Ahead.(Rejoice) 成功之路，从头开始。经典英文广告语飘柔)
12、 A diamond lasts forever.(De Bierres) 钻石恒久远，一颗永流传。经典英文广告语第比尔斯)
13、 Fresh-up with Seven-up.(Seven-up) 提神醒脑，喝七喜。经典英文广告语七喜)
14、 Intel Inside.(Intel Pentium) 给电脑一颗奔腾的“芯”。经典英文广告语英特尔 奔腾)
15、 Connecting People.(Nokia) 科技以人为本。经典英文广告语诺基亚)
16、 For the Road Ahead.(Honda) 康庄大道。经典英文广告语本田)
17、 Let us make things better.(Philips) 让我们做的更好。经典英文广告语飞利浦)
18、 our wheels are always turning. 我们的车轮常转不停。(五十铃汽车)
19、 the world smiles with reader’s digest. 《读者文摘》给全世界带来欢笑。(《读者文摘》)
经典英文广告语集锦
20、 one should love animals. they are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃.
21、 love the neighbor. but don‘t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道.
22、 anything is possible. 没有不可能的事。(东芝电子) /take toshiba, take the world. 拥有东芝，拥有世界。(东芝电子)
23、 nobody is perfect. 没有一个人的身材是十全十美的。(苗条健身器材)
24、 behind every successful man， there is a woman. and behind every unsuccessful man， there are two. 每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人，每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人。
25、 every man should marry. after all， happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛.
26、 no business too small, no problem too big. 没有不做的小生意,没有解决不了的大问题。(ibm公司)
27、 the wise never marry， and when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
28、 we’re the dot. in. com. 我们就是网络。(太阳微系统公司)
29、 children in backseats cause accidents. accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外， 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.
30、 the new digital era. 数码新时代。(索尼影碟机) love is photogenic. it needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养.
31、 good to the last drop. 滴滴香浓,意犹未尽。(麦氏咖啡) a kodak moment. 就在柯达一刻。(柯达胶卷)/share moments. share life. (柯达胶卷)
32、 started ahead. 成功之路,从头开始。(飘柔洗发水) we integrate, you communicate. 我们集大成,您超越自我。(三菱电工)
33、 the relentless pursuit of perfection. 不懈追求完美。(凌志轿车)
34、 poetry in motion, dancing close to me. 动态的诗,向我舞近。(丰田汽车) /where there is a way, there is a toyota.有路就有丰田车.(丰田汽车)
35、 when two‘s company， three‘s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是!
36、 can’t beat the real thing. 挡不住的诱惑。(可口可乐)/things go better with coco-cola.(coco-cola)饮可口可乐，万事如意。(可口可乐)
37、 tide’s in, dirt’s out. 汰渍到,污垢逃。(汰渍洗衣粉)
38、 “hard work never kills anybody." but why take the risk? ” 努力工作不会导致死亡!不过我不会用自己去证明.
39、 “work fascinates me.” i can look at it for hours! " 工作好有意思耶!尤其是看着别人工作.
40、 apple thinks different. 苹果电脑,不同凡“想”。(苹果电脑) the taste is great. 味道好极了。(雀巢咖啡)
41、 from sharp minds, come sharp products.来自智慧的结晶 。(夏普产品)
42、 mosquifo bye bye bye.(radar) 蚊子杀、杀、杀。(雷达牌驱虫剂)
43、 success is a relative term. it brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系).
经典英文广告语集锦
44、 never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好.
45、 connecting people.(nokia) 科技以人为本。(诺基亚)
46、 we lead. others copy. 我们领先，他人仿效。(理光复印机)
47、 not all cars are created equal. 并非所有的汽车都有相同的品质。(三菱汽车)
48、 the globe brings you the world in a single copy. 一册在手,纵览全球。(《环球》杂志) live well, snack well. 美好生活离不开香脆的饼干。(斯耐克威尔士饼干)
49、 impossible made possible. 使不可能变为可能。(佳能打印机)
50、 take time to indulge. 尽情享受吧!(雀巢冰激凌)
51、 “your future depends on your dreams.” so go to sleep. “现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧.
52、 there should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
53、 let’s make things better. 让我们做得更好。(飞利浦电器) good teeth, good health. 牙齿好,身体就好。(高露洁牙膏)
54、 god made relatives;thank god we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
55、 a dress is like a barbed fence. it protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动，但并不妨碍你尽情地观看.
56、 make yourself heard. 理解就是沟通。(爱立信手机) intelligence everywhere. 智慧演绎,无处不在。(摩托罗拉手机)
57、 the choice of a new generation. 新一代的选择。(百事可乐)
58、 man always remember love because of romantic only!(marlboro) 男人只记住浪漫的爱情!(万宝路)
59、 nothing can come of nothing .(莎士比亚) 物有其本， 事有其源。
60、 one world, one dream.(北京奥运会) 同一个世界,同一个梦想.
61、 take time to indulge. 尽情享受吧!(雀巢)
62、 time is what you make of it.(swatch) 天长地久。(斯沃奇手表)
63、 make yourself heard.(ericsson) 理解就是沟通。(爱立信)
64、 engineered to move the human spirit.(mercedes-benz) 人类精神的动力。(梅塞德斯-奔驰)
65、 intelligence everywhere. 智慧演绎，无处不在。(摩托罗拉手机)
66、 fresh-up with seven-up.(seven-up) 提神醒脑，喝七喜。
67、 connecting people.(nokia) 科技以人为本。(诺基亚)
68、 for the road ahead.(honda) 康庄大道。
69、 the relentless pursuit of perfection.(lexus) 追求完美永无止境。(凌志汽车)
70、 communication unlimited.(motorola) 沟通无极限。(摩托罗拉)
71、 focus on life.(olympus) 瞄准生活。(奥林巴斯)
72、 the new digital era. 数码新时代。
73、 seeing is not believing (hollywood) 视觉创新影(好莱坞)
74、 a diamond is forever. 钻石恒久远,一颗永流传.
75、 english means science, english means peace.(english) 英语意味着科技, 英语意味着和谐。
76、 the relentless pursuit of perfection. 不懈追求完美。 (凌志轿车)
77、 it`s not enough that we do our best, we have to do what`s required. 人尽其力，力尽其能。 (荣威轿车)
78、 come to where the flavour is. marlboro country. 光临风韵之境——万宝路世界。(万宝路)
79、 world in hand , soul in cyber. (microsoft) 掌中乾坤, 梦之灵魂。 (微软)
80、 to me， the past is black and white， but the future is always color. 对我而言，过去平淡无奇;而未来，却一直是彩色的(轩尼诗酒)
81、 every time a good time 更多欢笑更多欢乐就在麦当劳
