【www.shanpow.com--英语作文】
【一】:英语笑话-三个人
英语笑话:三个人
THREE PEOPLE A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."
有一个人参观墓地时见到一块墓碑上写着："在这里安息的是约翰凯利，一个律师，一个诚实的人。""这是怎么回事！"他叫了起来。"他们在一个坟墓了埋了三个人。"
【二】:英语笑话-三个人
英语笑话:三个人
THREE PEOPLE A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he
exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."
有一个人参观墓地时见到一块墓碑上写着："在这里安息的是约翰凯利，一个律师，一个诚实的人。""这是怎么回事！"他叫了起来。"他们在一个坟墓了埋了三个人。"
【三】:英语爆笑笑话 附翻译
下面是学习啦小编整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
英语爆笑笑话：Goethe's ToleranceGoe
the was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside.
一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。 可我给，说完歌德退到了一边。
英语爆笑笑话：Good Sight
Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.www.shanpow.com_三个英语笑话。
律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。
英语爆笑笑话：拿破仑病了
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格，校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说，“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答，“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说，“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸，我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
英语爆笑笑话：Who is Stupid?
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
英语爆笑笑话：一分一块钱
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。
考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着："一分一块钱。"
第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
英语爆笑笑话：哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of it.One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
www.shanpow.com_三个英语笑话。 我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴，和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我应该说，他是有点矮!一天，经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入，高声说，“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声，但有人却蹦出一句话：“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!
英语爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickels
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道： “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”
英语爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马
One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact， my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”
有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。 那家伙厉声说：“唔，你是四分之一黑白混血儿，你父亲是黑白混血儿，而你的祖父是个黑人。” “是的，”仲马大声回敬：“还有呢，如果你想知道的话， 我的曾祖父是一只猴子。其实我的血统起始于你的血统终止的地方。”
英语爆笑笑话：冷与热
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
蒙特利尔咖啡馆的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的水龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法语里代表'热'。如果您住在蒙特利尔的话就应该知道这一点。”“等等，”那位顾客咆哮着，“另外一个龙头标的也是C。”“那当然，”经理说道：“这个C代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”
英语爆笑笑话：小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”
英语爆笑笑话：在天堂结婚
A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven. The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"
一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸，双双死去了。于是，他们来到了圣徒彼得面前，妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚，圣徒彼得告诉他们，关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。差不多30天以后，圣徒彼得回来了，并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。妻子又问：“如果生活的不愉快，我们可不可以离婚呢?”圣徒彼得看着她，回答说：“夫人，我花了30天才找到个传教士，难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗?”
英语爆笑笑话：点名
On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."
大学的第一天，文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书，他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台，拿出课本，“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字，我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我：“他在点名呢。”
【四】:幽默英语笑话附翻译
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默英语笑话附翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
幽默英语笑话附翻译1：
The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse
一位农夫正在漆他茅房内的墙壁，
when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.
一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑内。
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.
“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。
Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,
不久消防队赶来了，一位消防人员弯下身来问
"Where's the fire?"
“哪里失火了呢?”
"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,
“事实上并未失火，”农夫说，“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!你们会赶来吗?”
"but would you have come if I'd yelled,Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "'
幽默英语笑话附翻译2：
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business，and as he was in a hum, he decided to travel by plane. He liked a window seat when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, and looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already been taken except for one, and a soldier sat beside the empty seat. Mr. Robinson was surprised that the soldier had not taken the one by the windows but, anyway, he at once went towards it.
由于生意方面的事，洛宾逊先生得出趟门。因为事情有点急，他决定乘坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗户坐，因此一登上飞机，他就寻找一个靠窗户的位子。他发现只有一个靠窗户的座位还空着。在那空座位的旁边坐着一名士兵。令洛宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐在靠窗的位置。洛宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was notice on it. It was written in ink and said: "this seat is preserved for load balance, thank you.” Mr. Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must have been carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat，not beside a window, to sit in.
然而，当他到了那儿，他看见座位上有个启事，是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡，特预订该位置，谢谢合作。”洛宾逊先生还从未在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事，不过，他想飞机上一定装载了特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗户的座位。
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on，When the plane was nearly full，a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in，quickly took the notice off the seat beside him and in this way succeeded in having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
又有两三位乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁边靠窗的座位上，他们看了那则启事后，就走开了。当快满舱时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆地走进机舱。一直在注意进舱乘客的那个士兵，赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种方法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路做伴。
幽默英语笑话附翻译相关文章：
1.英语幽默笑话故事带翻译
2.英文幽默笑话带翻译
3.幽默搞笑英语笑话带翻译
4.英语幽默笑话带翻译—第一个男朋友
5.英语幽默笑话及翻译
以上就是学习啦小编为大家带来的幽默英语笑话附翻译，希望大家喜欢!
【五】:精彩愚人节英文笑话
愚人节是西方的节日，你听过愚人节的英语笑话吗?现在，就让我们感受一下外国的幽默，下面，学习啦小编为大家整理了一些关于精彩愚人节的英文笑话，欢迎大家阅读。
精彩愚人节的英文笑话一：
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws "
精彩愚人节的英文笑话二：
Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
精彩愚人节的英文笑话三：
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
精彩愚人节的英文笑话四：
Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
精彩愚人节的英文笑话五：
-What the day is it today?
-Today is April fools'day.www.shanpow.com_三个英语笑话。
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
精彩愚人节的英文笑话六：
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
精彩愚人节的英文笑话七：
A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
精彩愚人节的英文笑话八：
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
精彩愚人节的英文笑话九：
A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马), Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打，俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. "
精彩愚人节的英文笑话十：
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "
精彩愚人节的英文笑话十一：
Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.
Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!
Husband: fuck him!
Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.
